Ads, etc.
Since we've been on the topic of commercial whoring, and since Joe is familiar with the subject matter, I'm looking for some creation of commercial action. Somewhere along the lines of what we've produced in the old studio if you know what I mean. Give me the text, and I'll add necessary pictures and things, then post it.
Here's some ideas:
Zach's Beach Pants
Steve Hawthorne: Indian Lawyer
Vixen Frozen vegetables
Burt Reynold's Smokey and the Bandit acting school
Herpes chewing gum
Rockin' Ropes twine connection
Vix Vapo-rub
The other thing I'm looking for is "protocols." Real ones. Here's an example-
The proper protocol for the blind man at the bus stop is as follows: As the sightless person approaches the curb side (with dog or stick in hand), they must first identify where the bus will come. After this discovery, the blind person shall wait for the bus by listening for others' responses and with keen ear and keeping the stick tapping at the concrete. Once the bus approaches, the bus driver will notice the blind man, stop near him, and open the door. At this point the driver of said bus will shout out the bus number, close the door, and drive ahead, leaving the blind man guessing as to where the door is. Since the person is in fact blind, they will never find the door, the driver is a-hole, and the head is shook in a disapproving manner. Fortunately, another bus will come. Unfortunately, the same thing will happen again, according
to proper protocol.
Here's some ideas:
Zach's Beach Pants
Steve Hawthorne: Indian Lawyer
Vixen Frozen vegetables
Burt Reynold's Smokey and the Bandit acting school
Herpes chewing gum
Rockin' Ropes twine connection
Vix Vapo-rub
The other thing I'm looking for is "protocols." Real ones. Here's an example-
The proper protocol for the blind man at the bus stop is as follows: As the sightless person approaches the curb side (with dog or stick in hand), they must first identify where the bus will come. After this discovery, the blind person shall wait for the bus by listening for others' responses and with keen ear and keeping the stick tapping at the concrete. Once the bus approaches, the bus driver will notice the blind man, stop near him, and open the door. At this point the driver of said bus will shout out the bus number, close the door, and drive ahead, leaving the blind man guessing as to where the door is. Since the person is in fact blind, they will never find the door, the driver is a-hole, and the head is shook in a disapproving manner. Fortunately, another bus will come. Unfortunately, the same thing will happen again, according
to proper protocol.
posted by fiestawizard at 11:17 AM
1 Comments:
Proper Protocol for College Kids Buying Groceries: Go into the store with at least four (4) peers, making sure not to shower or shave for two (2) days beforehand; those who are hungover need take only one (1) peer. Once inside, take one (1) small plastic hand-held basket for all four (4) of you. Proceed directly to aisle three (3) and fill the basket with twelve (12) packages of whatever brand of chinese-style fried, dehydrated noodles are on sale. Proceed to the eggs, and buy one dozen (12). Next to the eggs, there will be milk; take two (2) one-gallon jugs, carrying one and placing the other atop the eggs in the basket. If the peers are still present, they should not be paying attention at this time. If they are not present, they should be getting some rubbers and toilet paper. Moving towards the checkout lines, grab six (6) boxed, microwaveble dinners from the frozen section; stick as many as will fit into the basket, and tuck the remaining one(s) under the arm carrying the first gallon of milk. Enter the checkout lane marked "Express" (furthest one to the left); this is fine, since all of the items are either in the small basket or carried by hand. Dump it all out, and enjoy the sight of the crushed, runny eggs.
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