Adversions in Advertising
In the good spirit of ad wizardry, I've been coming up with some ideas for the late night Fargo advertising scheme. Let me run a few ideas by all the people that read this blog:
1) Public Service announcements
traffic announcements - pothole warnings (they are dangerous), practice safety when confronted with roadrage
public parks - watch out for loose, sharp gravel; bugs are potential hazards; stagnant water can ruin your life
weather - wind during tent picnic, wind danger during different games, rain can ruin leather pants and upholstery
general danger - truck fires, don't anger queen bees or ants, frozen pipes will in fact burst, queen bed (size) will smother you, pitfalls (both in reasoning and in hinterlands)
2) Advertising the Obvious
driving on interstates is a fast way to get there, lake activities are generally fun, frisbee is not fun, carpet is soft on my feet, calculators can be used to perform calculations quickly, mowing the grass can be fun (with proper techniques), using restaurants as places to socialize and eat
3) Irony
how to beat advertisers at their own game, how not to get brainwashed by TV via a brainwashing method
4) New Games (accompanied with contact info.)
freestyle tire, knick-knack chess, sprint and jump into net, anarchy ball, pie caliente (hot foot), knee slide
Other ideas are welcome unless they're real stupid. Thanks.
1) Public Service announcements
traffic announcements - pothole warnings (they are dangerous), practice safety when confronted with roadrage
public parks - watch out for loose, sharp gravel; bugs are potential hazards; stagnant water can ruin your life
weather - wind during tent picnic, wind danger during different games, rain can ruin leather pants and upholstery
general danger - truck fires, don't anger queen bees or ants, frozen pipes will in fact burst, queen bed (size) will smother you, pitfalls (both in reasoning and in hinterlands)
2) Advertising the Obvious
driving on interstates is a fast way to get there, lake activities are generally fun, frisbee is not fun, carpet is soft on my feet, calculators can be used to perform calculations quickly, mowing the grass can be fun (with proper techniques), using restaurants as places to socialize and eat
3) Irony
how to beat advertisers at their own game, how not to get brainwashed by TV via a brainwashing method
4) New Games (accompanied with contact info.)
freestyle tire, knick-knack chess, sprint and jump into net, anarchy ball, pie caliente (hot foot), knee slide
Other ideas are welcome unless they're real stupid. Thanks.
posted by fiestawizard at 2:27 PM
1 Comments:
Ah, when the fuck will I learn? I just wrote a fun-loving post about the shittiest trip to Target ever, which took place for me tonight, and it failed to publish, and I failed to COPY it first. NICE fucking internet.
OK.
So.
The ad business.
Just like "real" ad people, one must understand the demographics of one's audience in order to "target" them as marketable commodities. So, the usual late-night Fargo TV viewer, who resembles the Anytown, USA late-night viewer, is likely to be, in order of most-to-least common (some will definitely cross into other demographics, as you will see):
0. Person who always falls asleep with the TV on
1. Insomniac
2. Night-shift worker
3. College student
4. Alcoholic and/or Meth addict
5. Bipolar (manic phase)
6. Schizophrenic
7. Depressive
8. Fucking someone with TV on in background
9. TV malfunction -- can't turn off
So, the laws of advertising tell us to consider our audience. Ideas:
1. PSA: Check your fast-food drive-thru bag before you leave the parking lot, to rule out 1) incorrect order, and 2) metal shards.
2. Subliminal message to those who are asleep: "You are Satan's plaything. Wander in darkness for your lost soul shall sleep there for eternity. Winitoooooooouuuuuuu. Beeeeeeeeeeeees. Cooooooorrrrrrrrrr. Seeeeeeeeeeeds. Heffffffffffff." etc.
3. Message catering to specific delusions:
a. "This message is for you, Jim. Your hands are so dirty. I hate your filthy past. Your mother is calling. Jim, you have to finish this. Finish the girl. Finish the world. Finish the tapes. Tape the girl. Girl the world. JIM! You're black and charred, and your mother is calling. You're disgusting."
b. "If you're watching this commercial, you've made it successfully to the end of the world. You were right all along. Welcome to the afterlife. Now, you can never die."
c. "This is a message from Eminem to that very special girl in Fargo who's been waiting for me, and I think you know who you are. Wait for me, because as soon as you're done, I'm coming for you. I love you so much, and you're the only one for Marshall."
d. "Don't go to sleep yet, unless you're ready to be arrested in the morning."
e. "Keep those clothes on for the rest of the month. Otherwise, things will go horribly wrong."
f. "Metal snakes in the pirate's mouth... more scraps for the jungle snakes, and the Secret Service power coming down from the top. Snakes are put into their cans, you'll never see them coming, the metal snakes' mouths with venomous metallic snake smoke. I'd watch out if I were you."
g. "Tracing now. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing. Tracing complete."
h. "TIME NOW ENDS. Cirisu-9 Devillus."
i. "Join the cult." I tried this once as an ad campaign, and it worked.
4. 'Fucking' music. "Oh, yeah, that feels good, right? Can you smell that?"
5. Ego-booster: "Keep up the good work. Some day they're all going to remember you. In one way or another."
6. Sleep-inducer: "Eeeeeeasy now... that's.... right... sooooo sooooffffttttt.... the........ pil....low....couch........kitten..."
7. Encouragement to become one with the TV set: "Touch the screen now. The static feeling inside of you means that a small part of us is now inside of you. Taste our sweet liquid. Enter our electro-world. Feel the ether surround you. Touch the marbled face on your dog now. It is more real than your own identity."
Just some ideas, to tap into the late-night viewers' collective un- & sub-consciousness(es).
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