The Pagan Process

Part II of this year's Christmas Star Parade/Carnival:

What started with Christ's birth vision ends with a good old Pagan holiday. Now, previously I had suggested that Christmas and the entire Christ child phenomenon, and perhaps the entire biblical story, was created by a group of thoughtful industry captains, taking rightful advantage of the good consumerist nature of people. Several nasty (and convincing) emails from foreign investors, however, made me realize that I may be caroling up to the wrong house. What was once theorized to be an economic conspiracy has become an absolute hypocrisy, given that the holiday that is used to praise the baby jesus not coincidentally coincides with the day Pagan Germanic Tribes once used to celebrate the winter solstice - the darkest, coldest, most evil day of the year. They'd prance around trees and worship them and the like and invite the evil demon by the name of Krampus (Santa's adversary) to punish bad children everywhere. The Puritan's opposed all of this Christmas nonsense (and dancing, sex, funk music, and just about all other awesome things), but the loose Christians ate the shit up and incorporated all aspects, pagan or not, into the most wonderful time of the year! So, I suggest, if you're a loving Christian, to burn all your Christmas bridges - leave no evidence. You have limited time to save yourself assuming you've celebrated Christmas up until now. However, if you're like me, assume this was all your idea, embrace all aspects, and pretend the world really is a loving, accepting place.

Love,

Me.