B.O.R.T.'s Best of 2005
The new year brings us to a reflective posture, one that pulls us into a Final Fantasy-esque time loop from which we can only escape by making top 10 lists. Boy, I sure am a narky belp. Here are my top picks in '96! --
Top 10 Movies:
1. Mad Hot Ballroom: As usual, my favorite movie is the one I saw most recently. This particular one was viewed only 4 nights ago! It has blocked out all other films from recent memory. It's that good. A documentary about inner-city NYC kids who take a mandatory ballroom dance class and in the process learn a lot about themselves, life, and the world around them. Redeeming!
2. Palindromes: An extended meditation on identity. Key questions: Am "I" malleable, the alchemist of "myself"? Or am "I" always "me," immutable, for better or worse, mainly for the worse?
3. A Scanner Darkly (trailer): This movie has not yet been released, except as a trailer, which I have only watched in Quicktime format on my computer, which nevertheless makes it better than most movies that have come out, ever. Reflecting on this further, more movies should only be released as trailers. Also, most songs should be 1 to 1.5 minutes long (see below).
4. Star Wars Episode III: The main thing that got it on my list is Anakin getting his legs cut off.
5. The Lost Boys of Sudan: Documentary about 2 immigrants from Sudan, and their disillusionment with regard to the American Dream. Fun to see the well-meaning but blind "sponsors" of the boys, white Chrisitianist women thinking that giving these young men used furniture will ease their existential pain.
6. I did not see that many movies this year, really.
Top 10 Music:
1. The New Pornographers Twin Cinema: Power pop extraordinaire.
2. Ben Folds "Late" and "Landed" from Songs for Silverman: Songs for wussies.
3. Boom Bap Project Reprogram: Old-new-school hiphop from Seattle, great even if you're a lonely old man with hiked-up pants and an umbilical hernia that pops out when you laugh too hard, naked in your room at the VA Hospital, waiting for the nurse to come with your evening enema. "Sorry Mr. Carruthers, no house parties are allowed here at the VA! You should have thought about that before you decided to get sick!"
4. Felt: A Tribue to Lisa Bonet
5. Portastatic Bright Ideas: Employs something called "chords."
6. Hockey Night Keep Guessin' : Two drummers, with two complete drum kits. Neil Peart can eat their feces.
7. "Boulevard of Broken Songs": A mashup that gave me insomnia.
8. Sufjan Stevens (Come on feel the) Illinois: I am a huge nerd.
9. Debussy Fields: Home recording that hits home.
Top 10 Videogames:
1. Resident Evil 4: I finished it, then replayed it enough to get the infinite rocket launcher, at which point it remained fun for only an additional 20 minutes. But that's the first time I've wanted to replay a game in like 10 years.
2. Trauma Center: A surgery game for the DS, in which you use the touch screen to remove alien parasites from ill Japanese schoolgirls.
3. Dragon Quest VIII: "A metal king slime approaches!"
4. God of War: Double hand sickles, nipples, and giant avenging gods throwing fireballs.
Top 10 Personal Actions:
1. Marriage.
2. Learned to use new kitchen equipment; new recipes ensued.
3. Taught myself how to read.
4. Slightly increased my mass.
5. Beat 14 people in a round of speed chess, earning 28 dollars in the process.
6. Unable to figure out Soduku, even a very easy one.
7. 8th consecutive year of resisting the urge to buy a giant TV.
8. Stopped a leak from the second floor bathroom that threatened to destroy the entire 1st floor ceiling.
9. Sprayed for weeds.
10. Stood up for myself.
Top 10 Cats:
1. Samson
2. Muffin
3. Luka
4. Smokey
That's it, I give up. Anything else?
Top 10 Movies:
1. Mad Hot Ballroom: As usual, my favorite movie is the one I saw most recently. This particular one was viewed only 4 nights ago! It has blocked out all other films from recent memory. It's that good. A documentary about inner-city NYC kids who take a mandatory ballroom dance class and in the process learn a lot about themselves, life, and the world around them. Redeeming!
2. Palindromes: An extended meditation on identity. Key questions: Am "I" malleable, the alchemist of "myself"? Or am "I" always "me," immutable, for better or worse, mainly for the worse?
3. A Scanner Darkly (trailer): This movie has not yet been released, except as a trailer, which I have only watched in Quicktime format on my computer, which nevertheless makes it better than most movies that have come out, ever. Reflecting on this further, more movies should only be released as trailers. Also, most songs should be 1 to 1.5 minutes long (see below).
4. Star Wars Episode III: The main thing that got it on my list is Anakin getting his legs cut off.
5. The Lost Boys of Sudan: Documentary about 2 immigrants from Sudan, and their disillusionment with regard to the American Dream. Fun to see the well-meaning but blind "sponsors" of the boys, white Chrisitianist women thinking that giving these young men used furniture will ease their existential pain.
6. I did not see that many movies this year, really.
Top 10 Music:
1. The New Pornographers Twin Cinema: Power pop extraordinaire.
2. Ben Folds "Late" and "Landed" from Songs for Silverman: Songs for wussies.
3. Boom Bap Project Reprogram: Old-new-school hiphop from Seattle, great even if you're a lonely old man with hiked-up pants and an umbilical hernia that pops out when you laugh too hard, naked in your room at the VA Hospital, waiting for the nurse to come with your evening enema. "Sorry Mr. Carruthers, no house parties are allowed here at the VA! You should have thought about that before you decided to get sick!"
4. Felt: A Tribue to Lisa Bonet
5. Portastatic Bright Ideas: Employs something called "chords."
6. Hockey Night Keep Guessin' : Two drummers, with two complete drum kits. Neil Peart can eat their feces.
7. "Boulevard of Broken Songs": A mashup that gave me insomnia.
8. Sufjan Stevens (Come on feel the) Illinois: I am a huge nerd.
9. Debussy Fields: Home recording that hits home.
Top 10 Videogames:
1. Resident Evil 4: I finished it, then replayed it enough to get the infinite rocket launcher, at which point it remained fun for only an additional 20 minutes. But that's the first time I've wanted to replay a game in like 10 years.
2. Trauma Center: A surgery game for the DS, in which you use the touch screen to remove alien parasites from ill Japanese schoolgirls.
3. Dragon Quest VIII: "A metal king slime approaches!"
4. God of War: Double hand sickles, nipples, and giant avenging gods throwing fireballs.
Top 10 Personal Actions:
1. Marriage.
2. Learned to use new kitchen equipment; new recipes ensued.
3. Taught myself how to read.
4. Slightly increased my mass.
5. Beat 14 people in a round of speed chess, earning 28 dollars in the process.
6. Unable to figure out Soduku, even a very easy one.
7. 8th consecutive year of resisting the urge to buy a giant TV.
8. Stopped a leak from the second floor bathroom that threatened to destroy the entire 1st floor ceiling.
9. Sprayed for weeds.
10. Stood up for myself.
Top 10 Cats:
1. Samson
2. Muffin
3. Luka
4. Smokey
That's it, I give up. Anything else?
posted by B.O.R.T. at 11:03 AM
1 Comments:
Yes, there's actually plenty more, but no more time left in the year 2005 to reflect. Now on to making new lists for 2006. Start now, or forever regret taking that extra nap by the space heater today that will cause you to forget about all the new things that occur in early '06. It's complicated, don't ask. Some strange formatting and word usage in the first paragraph here really kept me on my toes. You are indeed a narky belp, and I guess using black text for 'new year' had some sort of meaning. Maybe it was just my computer.
All in all, a good set of lists. Your lists actually have some meaning that took real thought, unlike my usual old lists of things (turkey melt, chalice of power, Neil, leather helmet, cantelope, etc.), so I liked that. There are plenty of interesting things for me to check out here, and that's the real useful part. Mostly I want to look into adding to or switching the order of that cat list, and also deleting "sprayed for weeds," since by the looks of your crispy, brown, patches-of-quack-grass yard, you didn't do anything of the sort. Also, I didn't even know of Soduku, but I looked it up and you sure aren't kidding about that. Your other accomplishments are, to say the least, inspirational as all get out, and I plan to work on a few of them myself. But sonnavabitch, you got married?!! Yeah, sure, just like you won speed chess and increased your mass 10-fold as you say. Sure...
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