Stan Lee's New Era of Reality
Beyond transforming into the Incredible Hulk, which, contrary to common belief he was actually never able to do but did consistently have wet dreams about, Stan Lee now hosts a new reality show in which various people and their alternate persona perform different tests of superhero aptitude. Wow. I know I've been a reality cynic before, but this really does it for me. I only wish that I had thought of this first. The profiles are great, please read them for your own good and comparison to your own superhero profile. I've now resigned myself to the fact that there's no way I can ever guess at what new low people will subject themselves to in order to become a common superhero. And I thought Big Brother was bad- at least there they can fuck each other. These people won't even have the chance to make love to the older, out of shape clerical staff at the public library after this is done. "I, Signal Man, have only the power manipulate television satellite signals, and will warp and deflect the reality TV beams and make your household safe once again mam!" Signal man shouted in a grandiose voice as he once again saved humanity from certain self-defeat. At least now I know I could in fact write a reality show based on my cult presentation. There's no doubt, if the reward was pleasant enough, that people would compete to become a cult leader... you included. Everyone has their price.
posted by fiestawizard at 12:40 AM
2 Comments:
"Absorbs powers and abilities from video games that he plays; generates a feedback field that disrupts electronics within 15 feet"
Q: Does Feedback realize that he's wreaking havok (no X-Men pun intended) on his own potential to be awesome?
Another thing that's fun as you read their profiles is to switch around their "fighting for" and "vulnerabilities." For example:
Vulnerability: minorities and people who are different.
Fighting for: Lack of air.
Vulnerability: the benefit of all mankind.
Fighting for: lactose intolerant.
Anyway, I've known people throughout my life who have the superpower of "draining energy." It's a superpower that most American citizens are actually granted as a birthright, like all Aboriginals in the Australian outback are born with the ability to open portals in space-time, and all Canadians are born with the ability to play in a rocking Power Trio.
My favorite power is from Ty'veculus, who is awesome: "always detects lies because he can only hear the truth."
Try telling *that* to someone who's "fronting" you.
Well, you're right about the cult reality show, fiestawizard. It would be a hit, because really that's kind of what these shows are about, isn't it?
On all points, agreed... in total. Please read my previous posts for extraneous posting data oswald. I receive.
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