Tribal justifice fiends

A new tribe is on the loose. A tribe of not just one man. An organized derivative of the old-school midwest mafia. Cold blood killers that have a plan. A dedicated plan at that. A plan that only a Charles Bronson type could decode and put into ruins.

In case you haven't heard, every drowning of white, athletic young men in the past 20 years may be connected. As a footnote, it should be pointed out that the ONLY commonality, up until now, between the cases is that the drownings have taken place at night, usually (and coincidentally) at bar-time, in colder than average bodies of water.

But, who knew it, it turns out a gang's on the loose. Hell bent on getting your ass and pushing it in the river at 2 am. They say they just want to see you have a sexy swim, but really they're out to put you down. A team of private investigators, hired by the families of victims, held a press conference and dropped the huge bombshell on the American public. Their report likely had nothing to do with the fact that they've been getting paid for some 10 years and have come up with nothing. For example, a smiley face has been painted at some of the drowning sites. Said the investigator, "Obviously, the smiley face indicates that someone enjoyed the killing, as serial killers typically do."

Well, another secret, underground, murderous gang has been added to my do-not-taunt list. As a general rule that I strictly adhere to, publicly visible gangs can safely be taunted, but not secret ones. My lights are off and my shades are drawn, but that's really because I'm a little afraid of the neighborhood I live in. I'd rather not see what's going on. But, whenever I'm near the river or lake, I'll be in full black sweatsuit with no reflectors to give up my position. Good luck accidental drowning death super gang, good luck. You've always got your victim up until now, but the fun's run out (not a taunt, just a friendly joke. Please, just leave me alone. I won't tell anybody.)

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