Ufoid Destroys Hands in Accident, Says His Nubs Will Never Grace the Polymer Sweetness of the Keyboard Again
That's right kids, he's a goner, or at least his hands are. At this time, we're not sure what happened, whether it was the acid again, or the angry neighbor with the pneumatic can crusher. Well, poor Ufoid always stood his ground; always taking the hand destruction instead of having his teeth put against the cold hard concrete curb whilst being stomped upon the nape. Please, give him a call to harass him lightly or send him a card. 701-320-2619
posted by fiestawizard at 3:57 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, acid will do that.
Has anyone called him yet? I tried to, but all that happened was that the phone rang about 38 times (that's the "38 special" you've heard so much about on your radios), following by the soft "click" of a call received. Instead of the usual, "Hi, this is Brookes Steener, what's up my peep" that I usually get when I call Ufoid, there was instead a frighteningly loud clattering sound of the phone dropping from his utterly-useless stumps.
Poor fella was most likely trying to perfect the new "chopsticks" grip that he'd always spoken about (an ironic foreshadowing in his own life, we now see).
After things calmed down, there was a quiet "Oh, shit, dude" in the background, then utter silence.
I waited, assuming the handless youngster was scampering about collecting enough blue orbs to power up his Courage Meter to allow him to reattempt the "Chopstick" special move and pick that phone back up.
5 minutes later, after I had tried yelling certain annoying "code words" that usually piss Ufoid off and/or excite him (like "Bring It!" and "Transform and ROLL out!"), I heard a gun blast, followed by a hard thud.
Only time will tell what transpired "at that point in time" (i.e., "then").
I definitely don't think me yelling the code words into my end of the phone had any impact in the final outcome, however.
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