Sports Hero = Me
I had a traumatic childhood event once in which, as a first-grader, I passed the basketball to a kid from my own class who happened to be on the other team, just because I knew him and thought he was, you know, my friend.
Although actually he wasn't my friend; he was just capitalizing on my ignorance of basketball when he said, "Hey, pass it to me!"
So I always thought that this moment of fucking up was a defining one, something that no other person would do -- at least not anyone who was actually "Good" at sports.
But on the TV sports recap tonight, I noticed that the Timberwolves were playing the, um, whoever, and what happened was, one of the Timberwolves, let's call him "Not Kevin Garnett" made an excellent incredible shot. Non-KG, feeling proud, then went over to "high five" this guy Wally Szczerbiak... only to be dissed by Wally, because you know what? Wally Szczerbiak USED TO BE Non-KG's friend and teammate, but is NOW on the other team, the rival team!
Oooooh! Too bad! High five "denied" to Non-KG! Brick!
So, you see, even awesome pro sports guys who aren't Kevin Garnett can do stupid things that a 1st grader who doesn't know the basic rules of basketball would do.*
This might also include pooping on the slide during recess.
*The guy who attempted the high-five might, in fact, have been Kevin Garnett. I have no idea, as I was barely paying attention.
Although actually he wasn't my friend; he was just capitalizing on my ignorance of basketball when he said, "Hey, pass it to me!"
So I always thought that this moment of fucking up was a defining one, something that no other person would do -- at least not anyone who was actually "Good" at sports.
But on the TV sports recap tonight, I noticed that the Timberwolves were playing the, um, whoever, and what happened was, one of the Timberwolves, let's call him "Not Kevin Garnett" made an excellent incredible shot. Non-KG, feeling proud, then went over to "high five" this guy Wally Szczerbiak... only to be dissed by Wally, because you know what? Wally Szczerbiak USED TO BE Non-KG's friend and teammate, but is NOW on the other team, the rival team!
Oooooh! Too bad! High five "denied" to Non-KG! Brick!
So, you see, even awesome pro sports guys who aren't Kevin Garnett can do stupid things that a 1st grader who doesn't know the basic rules of basketball would do.*
This might also include pooping on the slide during recess.
*The guy who attempted the high-five might, in fact, have been Kevin Garnett. I have no idea, as I was barely paying attention.
posted by B.O.R.T. at 9:53 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, I remember... that story at least. It's too bad that a trivial little incident could crush your spirits and rip out your soul like that, passing the ball to Tracy Koenig. The truth of it was that you were all pretty terrible, no cohesion or care. But, thanks to that event, your chances of becoming a champion grade hockey player are nearly non-existent. However, I've arranged for you to go to a pro-style hockey camp (equipment not provided) this weekend. Please don't disappoint. Leave your pride at the door, and bring lots of inner strength (in bottles with caps).
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