I am a dungeon master without any monsters to control

It seems that the readership has abandoned ship once again. That's okay, because I was serious about playing D&D. It may seem like just another old joke between friends to roll the deca-die, but in actuality I've reverted to this method to escape the "real-world," and I'm not talking the hit show. The line will soon again be blurred between hellish reality and demonic tower lords. Maybe, just maybe, we could all make a few more good connections with that guy in the unicorn shirt if we'd just gain a dexterity point or two. And that (the unicorn shirt), is not some stereotypical D&D get-up. Well, it might be, but the stereotype in this case is not based on an unfounded truth, because I've seen this guy before, and he broke to me the terrible news that the retro-arcade would be shut down forever (as far as I'm concerned). R.I.P. Ninja Gaiden and Double Dragon (also D&D!) I'm going to take some opiates and alcohol now, so I have an excuse for this behavior.