Starbucks - the Vile Review
posted by fiestawizard at 11:34 AM
Thursday, November 02, 2006
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3 Comments:
BORT says this:
i don't go to starbucks, as i've always found the name confusing and offensive. is the idea that i give them my "bucks" so they can make me a "star"? well, guess what, i'm already a star. everyone's a star. haven't
they heard that? lucky star by madonna? starship? starburst fruit chews?
their caffeine beverages are brewed at many established where i work however, leading me into a state of physiological dependence with concomitant psychological boundary-pushing. fun!
the other non-union people i always feel for are the suckers who work at Best Buy stores. they shill for the "warranty" plans, they shill for "free magazine subscriptions," they shill for the Best Buy card... and I always
ask them, when they bug me with their various shilling, "Do you get anything extra if I do?" When they say no, I say, "That's too bad, cuz I would've got a(insert random thing they tried to sell me here) if you did..." This seems to puzzle the poor kids, who are only trying to get a discount on electronics and/or get a date. I happen to know they also have
those corporate "rallies" there to "get the sales up" and so on,
disgraceful and demeaning in that Wal-Mart employee type of way.
By the way, it seems I haven't made a purchase at Best Buy in like forever. Sell your stock now! And don't say I didn't warn you.
Oops. I forgot that this wasn't the blog. But I still meant every word.
GEORGE says this:
I will pass this on - Starbucks has a tendency to look really progressive. I see now that they are there for the "yuppies" of the world who are ignorant to the strife of the working class. They certainly don't walk the walk, they don't care about the farmers who grow the beans, they don't care about the laborers who pick the beans, they don't care about the workers who sell the coffee, but they sure's hell make sure they maximize their profits by having a Starbucks on every block in every large city and they sure's hell make sure the prices are high. I quit going to them, Fargo has a ma and pop coffee shop downtown called Bab's (one being opened in Jamestown too) that I go to. Thanks for the info.
I get the final word:
... and We All Shine on by Lennon - "... a superstar? While right you are!"
In regard to your confused state of consumerism and codependency on aggressive salespeople, managemental elites, and mind-warped teenage sales prostitutes: your enjoyment, threatening to cross the border into addiction, of an array of products and services has led you to this... finally. Welcome - I've been here for quite some time, and am only now getting to taste the sweetness of the two gallons of soda-limenorade I purchased on sale last week at TJ Maxx.
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