My eyes were neither melted nor irritated - The coming of HMJ

I assume everyone saw the carnages on State Street this year - burning children, acid-melted faces, dipped sauce strangers, and quarrelsome lovers. Blankets made of candy, lolly pop puppies and rainbow steam chutes filled the mildly and unusually moistened October air. Usually my participation in local festive activities is quite low, especially considering last year's events at this time of year. But this year was different. I was forced to think about my position and who I wanted to become, or better said, who I actually am, but have failed to realize. The messiah appeared, and before him several idiots bowed down to listen to his prophecy, proclaimed at the temple of prophecy - named as such out of a lack of originality. The jacket was left at the super arcade on my favorite game cabinet, Dragon's Lair, only hours prior to this picture being taken. It was for me, I knew, and plus it was reversible.



Jake S. went as a stupid asshole, and I wish I had a good picture of that. I boug ht him a "Freedom isn't Free" shirt and he already owned a jean vest, so it took little coordination or thought. Nothing complicated here, just simple foolishness. He also made himself some sort of phallic tool and placed it strategically under his sweatpants. Maybe there was some sort of message in it all. Maybe Jake is just as creepy as his attire suggested. Some men dress in funny little skirts and the like because "it's Halloween man!" I'm sure they aren't actually saying, "these clothes make me feel sexy and true to myself."

Either way, no chaos ensued, and I avoided it at all costs. If anyone was to be arrested, it would be Jake. I wanted to take take him downtown myself, spray his eyes without the mercilessness of Heavy Metal Jesus, and fire rubber bullets into his flanks. But, this year it came down to simple economics. The "paying to play" plan has precedence now, and since no pepper spray was used, it must have been a success. However, I was there, and when the shut-down time came the same stupid souless idiots were chanting the all popular "eat shit, fuck you," and other greatest hits. Cops on horses scattered small crowd portions, but nobody wanted to leave. Everyone wanted to see what might go down. Same situation as years past, and the man atop his steed could have just as easily called in for chemical support. Of course those idiots in their beer keg costumes fell for it, and failed to act violently. Shit, this time they may have a had a legitimate cause. HMJ struck several on-lookers down with fire and brimstone type anger as the night came to a close.