A New Generation...
...of devices that is... used to break loose from the death grips of boredom. And it's great really, the magic of technology. The new ability to use a remote to activate special sequences and to download nostalgia. But, contrary to common modern belief, there are many other ways to win the ancient war that pits humans vs. the dull realities that life has to offer, especially now that the weather is favorable. For example:
1) Heavy log splitting - used to practice dealing out crushing blows, is also known to soothe the mind and give one a sense of worth through labor.
2) Listen to your local police scanner - death and destruction surround us. Listen until either you're satisfied that you're not part of the mayhem, or until your ears bleed from all of the mayhem. Either way should pass the time. Guns are being fired as we speak not far from here. Soon I will find out who's responding.
3) Hallucinogens - with favorable weather, a long, walking trip-out can be dangerous... but hilarious. Use this one to inspire yourself.
4) Headbanging in the park (wear you Maiden shirt) - I've done this before. Many worthy people want to become your friend. You are approachable because you headbang, but some may perceive the awesome shirt you have as threatening. Trim your beard before hand, and also sing softly as this will increase your approachability.
5) Stand by an old dirty bus stop by your house. Clean up chicken bones and empty packs of smokes. This generous action will allow you to make up names and stories about people who pass by, unbeknownst to them. If it's a bad area of town, don't worry, nobody gets you if you're cleaning up trash. As a warning, wait until people have removed themselves from their own trash (>= 50 yards). I've been scolded and attacked within 20 yards. "Hey motherfucker, that's my Hi-C!" My corner, for example is alright - this is what was going on a few months ago. Search for "Teutonia." I'll make up a story about that guy later.
1) Heavy log splitting - used to practice dealing out crushing blows, is also known to soothe the mind and give one a sense of worth through labor.
2) Listen to your local police scanner - death and destruction surround us. Listen until either you're satisfied that you're not part of the mayhem, or until your ears bleed from all of the mayhem. Either way should pass the time. Guns are being fired as we speak not far from here. Soon I will find out who's responding.
3) Hallucinogens - with favorable weather, a long, walking trip-out can be dangerous... but hilarious. Use this one to inspire yourself.
4) Headbanging in the park (wear you Maiden shirt) - I've done this before. Many worthy people want to become your friend. You are approachable because you headbang, but some may perceive the awesome shirt you have as threatening. Trim your beard before hand, and also sing softly as this will increase your approachability.
5) Stand by an old dirty bus stop by your house. Clean up chicken bones and empty packs of smokes. This generous action will allow you to make up names and stories about people who pass by, unbeknownst to them. If it's a bad area of town, don't worry, nobody gets you if you're cleaning up trash. As a warning, wait until people have removed themselves from their own trash (>= 50 yards). I've been scolded and attacked within 20 yards. "Hey motherfucker, that's my Hi-C!" My corner, for example is alright - this is what was going on a few months ago. Search for "Teutonia." I'll make up a story about that guy later.
posted by fiestawizard at 10:31 PM
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