The Tiger Master Inflection

bort n. Poorly crystallized diamonds used for industrial cutting and abrasion.

I'm not sure that I should have the privilege to comment on anything via the internet anymore, what with all the dangerous implications nowadays. Nonetheless, I hear the sound of perseverance ; monotone and high in amplitude. The sound allows me to persevere like I always said I would. Now, I once had a whole lot of language prepared in my head for a post such as this, but much of the language has escaped through the tiny holes that were drilled in my mind by the benzene formula you gave me. But, I'll be doing the final laughing, as I took some form of short notes that will assist me later. This assistance won't even come close to matching that of Mr. Karr, though, the Johnny Bonets killer. Strangely, he confessed, and not-so-strangely, he's one strange fucker. Now, here me out, as I am so anxious to report this that my hands are purple and my knees are knocking about: Karr is the name of Kitt's nemesis on Knight Rider. Yes, yes, it appears that all along, we (the public) have simply been a necessary part of a Knight Rider episode. So, I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but I called Michael Knight himself (2233 is the number to the giant car phone inside of Kitt), and he assured me (so long as I keep my dirty mouth shut) that he would soon uncover the whole plot and win an award from the president. With that said, I hope that you don't tell anyone about this, and then maybe, if I put a good word in for you, you can also get a lock of Hasselhoff's chest hair sent to you in a bubble envelope with signed copy of his newest music collection (he sings to John Tesh tunes and dances to almost anything hip-hop).

As my second move, as commanded to me by the tiger master himself using his infecting inflection, I have a few things to say about Troy Mulmers (sp?) and Aydin Craigmore, those two guys who were in a dangerous relationship because one had suspected the other of conspiring to murder him erroneously. Troy had some papers from the network sent to him by accident and he was forced to accept his fate. It sounds like everything Aydin did made Troy more and more certain that his end times were near. The funny thing is that, looking back, Troy would always have these awkward conversations with Aydin, created out of Troy's feelings of hopelessness. Most often he would suddenly pound Aydin with questions about yardwork and how he could assist with his disabled grandma. In the end (now here's the real gut-busting part) Aydin was so confused that he assumed he was schizophrenic (he had bad breath, which might be a symptom), so he ended up arranging this ultimately tragic, but quite elaborate, scheme, that would, "end all scheming," as he put it. Anyway, search for it and get some info. on your own. I certainly can't do this story justice in one short paragraph. Boy, if I had a dollar for everytime I couldn't do justice, I'd be economically wealthy, but still just a self-defeating shit pile with no justice abilities.