Part 2(11)

Come on Eileen. Stop your stupor. Don't limit yourself to that style. It seals but sometimes leaks. The essence smells of fear. The smile hinges on a bracket. Propogate. Deceive them and relieve your monstrous form. Buy a dozen get one free. The outlook is bleak if not for the eye in the sky. Is the eye you? Is the sky me? I'm no demon. Is the demon in you? Apply the forcefield now. Don't look in it. The chunky little asian man. His eyes are closed but he's enjoying the show. He sways to them, his own beat. He's learned by the body. You are not, but you are him. Welcome to the madness. Can I play with madness? The pretense is the base of the madness. Interchange the system with an inferior supply. Supply the superior and don't look back. Instigate.

Clutch the wire fence until your fingers bleed

I had a premonition today. Not the usual premonition of evil, but a thought of a kinder, gentler, more aggressively maanipulative me. Are those characteristics contradictory? Maybe. I plan to begin a campaign of self-promotion with the goal of becoming a "somebody." My internal insecurity with my own being has led me choosing this path. Oh, you smug jerk, you're wondering, "How are you gonna do that Fiestawizard?" Easy, with a little help from you and an intense campaign of obtainting a part in the newest action flick. And don't tell me (as a pathetic attempt to ruin my plan) that they don't make the motion pictures anymore. Anyway, my idea is to, you know, be one of those aspiring Hollywood types. Really my main interest would be in giving other aspiring assholes a little taste of bloody chrome. Not by hitting them with my car of course, because there's no chrome on the new vehicles these days. I want to set up some sort of scam. For example, have a casting call or have a red-carpet type event. The droves of potential superstars would walk right into my trap no problem where they would be payed a small fee for performing unheard of sexual behavior in front of a cassette tape recorder (top quality mind you). Oh, like that hasn't been done before. I know, and that's why people in Hollywood are on to that and you can no longer get away with fake events like that. So, we're now finding that the plan is underdeveloped. and basically I'm now realizing that I just want to create a piece of satire that captures the essence of being an absolute aspiring anything... walking through a life in which every move is calculated to produce the final outcome: AIDS and a kid with one eye. And so, that's what I must give them. Oh yeah, and I need you to pretend your my agent, press person, photographer, etc.

Oh yeah, and I picked up the newest copy of the homeless paper today. It's pretty good and the guy that gave it to me makes his writing premiere in it. He wrote an article about fixing your bike and the possibility of purple feces. Really. At the end of the article he says you can email him or give him your phone number. Last time I left a transient my number I ended up with several calls from "mom and dad Filbertson" and several calls from a local cat doctor. Okay I guess, better than the calls from Canada.

That reality show/drama (which one?) on MTV really sucks and I'm going to fork my eyes out now.

Dream Land

Recently my non-chemically induced dreams have produced desirable results. I am pleased. Bill Burroughs used a lot of his dreams for writing, and many of them were homo-erotic and/or just really nonsensical, like most dreams I guess – gay and/or weird. Personally I haven’t had any gay dreams, but I did have a dream about some sort of mountain standoff. Let me explain:

Transported to the land of Pyramid Hill, I reached the shallow peak in less than five minutes and crouched behind the 3-foot wall. Rocks were available everywhere and were the preferred mode of defense. I reminded my comrades that rocks would run out, but they assured me that the whole mountain was indeed composed of rocks. I fired a few at the approaching men with their mean, ugly elephants. Few of the rocks dealt harmful blows. Others glanced of the thick skin. Your basic siege scene now, the premise was about to quickly transform itself. Soon our position was overtaken and I was forced to rush down the narrow trail that would hopefully be my escape. Not so. Three disgruntled, mutilated, and mentally diseased teens appeared. One with a bloody nub for a limb, the other with a overly tiny head, and finally, the leader, an autistic one. All carried long barreled weaponry and sprinted with evil intent. They meant to use the butt of the guns to work my head over. No words were spoken, but the unyielding gun butts told the whole story on my skull. With the luck of seven gambling addicts I found my own gun (albeit a crappy pump-action pellet gun) buried in some sand. The mindless running attack was taken advantage of by simply ducking and letting the momentum lead to abrasive tumbling, followed by a smashing of my own. The bloody nub and the tiny head proved a minor challenge, but the autistic kid had a story of his own, as I found out after a solid stalemate battle in which I removed his glasses and broke them. End of fight. Transfer immediately to video screening of a brief explanation. A black man in an interrogation room. Grainy, poor quality video. An irregular adjustment from the man to a young boy, a captain of sorts, and the autism case. His story followed the questions he was asked. I recognized him from before, and I knew of his ability, or disability. He was dangerous alright, and belonged back in the interrogation chamber where his acute condition could be further studied. Anyone that can somehow alter their mindset, chemical balance, or genetic scheme should be confined to small dark rooms and interrogated endlessly.

Fate of Norns

Murderous Viking death. Sometimes I intend to hurt feelings, other times my writings are thoughtless and incoherent, and sometimes they are both. Now they will just be the former. Just like the Iron Maiden fan said with the long whispy hair and an even whispier mustache, "That's an awesome shirt man." I had to eliminate myself from the situation. This is a common occurence... the compliments on that shirt I mean. Lots of people will be out and about sleighing around tonight, but I'll be right here in the dark with only the quiet whisper of some old electronic equipment and the man in my window as company. Sometimes it's a larger health benefit. I have this game, a "board" game if you will. It's called Mastermind and it's all about breaking codes and shit. It's from the Cold War Era 80's when that shit was popular (War Games). I can probably beat you. Lots of people are probably out there tonight trying to set up equations to win at Yahtzee. I once got six "yahtzees!" in a row without any equations. I have some video footage that you might be interested in. It has some tips on the ghost movement in the Pac-Man game that you know of. I made the footage myself. I also have footage of the beard I used to have. Me: I'm gonna be down here in the dark dampness waiting for the break down to be brought to me, right up in front of my eyes so I can witness it for myself. In the meantime I have a battery-powered tape deck that's qued up to play "Billy Jean" and other Thriller songs. I might bring it to somebody else's world and see what they think. Over at the Mormon church they have a large, decaying pile of trash on their lawn so I noticed. I'm going to leave a note on their door to let them know. I will also tell them that that's no way to recruit people into a cult (I've had my share of problems with this issue in my own religion). Brainwashed: a good song, and also a good way to get people on your side. Three punks threatened me in the chip isle at Walgreen's the other day. A looked at them with a creepy eye, gave them fifty cents and shoved my nightmare in their ears: that I had a cancer. They'll leave me be I figure. Next time delinquents mess with me I'm just gonna ignore them to the best of my ability. A tire was tossed into your backyard (with some other refuse) by some older man with a sweatshirt. He didn't have anywhere else to put all that shit, so there it is for you. Just leave it there. Personally, if I read that last sentence I don't care too much, as my back yard already has some old shingles, a board or two, a small kitchen type plate, a different tire, and moving vehicles. Don't be alarmed. Tomorrow the new business venture will be undertaken legitamately. I will be accepting small amounts of cash for old posters that you want to get rid of. Really, it's a good deal. My riches won't be your debt and it beats giving out pay-day loans like you've chosen to do. For now I'm going to stick around my basement and try to figure out what I wrote on all these crinkled up papers and napkins, followed by the balancing nickel optical illusion, followed by making a twine maze, and finally ending with paranoid scan of the peep-hole on my door for 45 minutes (to put me to sleep).

Sittmoy's Cursed Shroud

Who would have guessed that eventually skill enhancing garments would be available to the general consumer, not just the level 42 wizard and/or paladin? Not me. But now, for a limited time, you can purchase the Q-link. Made specifically for improving your golf game, it also enhances all sorts of other bodily characteristics. Just look at this. I certainly don't assume it's just a bunch of confusing medical jargon made to sound smart and thus legitimate. But, with my luck, I know that as soon as I purchase this item, a small screen will appear before my face that will tell me that the pendant is cursed and that I will never be able to remove it, causing me slow damage (like poison) and reduced dexterity. Such is the case in my life, which is indeed as real as any RPG.

Beyond this, may I suggest reading the latest and greatest article from Minnesota's own Darryn Beckstrom at the Badger Herald. Subject: abstinence. Purpose: Beckstrom's attempted cover-up of dirty promiscuity.

Also, I attended an animal research debate yesterday. Albeit somewhat interesting, as there are valid points on both sides of the argument, I can't get over the idea of someone fighting so hard for animal rights when humans are in all sorts of situations worldwide (and right here) are agruably in equally terrible situations. I couldn't help but imagine that when this guy was in the midst of speaking of monkey torture that he was actually talking about convenient store workers... "they have a social network, a sense of suffering, and are confined to small cages for their entire lives." I also think that the animal rights activists are protesting and threatening the wrong people. Money is made available for all sorts of stupid research that involves invasive and sometimes harmful procedures (making new artificial sugars, testing new useless drugs, etc.) not by the university professors, but by companies that can do as they wish. They speak of a cost/benefit ratio to make decisions about the need for animals in research, but the benefit is not human, it's monetary. Animal rights fighters: protest the powers that be, not the plebs that do. Have a beef slab as well, for delicious enjoyment.

Wasted years: a flattening of emotions

I arrived in the dead zone that is North Dakota early this morning. The sleep was nice, but the reading of the morning paper was as abrasive on my soul as the toilet paper at Arby's is on my asshole. Every time I read the "Sun" I am tempted to waste my days writing responses to letters and editorials. Is it just my bias, or do all papers inflame me such? Well, anyway, I read an interesting little article in the business news about some lady who got her degree from Phoenix Online University, and I got a little interested. Funny how some things that make me shake my head so much could get me to do this much research and pique my interest. It was a real pretentious sounding article where it said that this woman and her husband were now both PhDs. I really got to thinking about the title of PhD. In our society they're experts (we say and think). In the business community, degrees are simply a piece of certification that allows you to get more money and power. "Oh great, here's another anti-capitalist rant by that commie FiestaWizard." I know that's what you're thinking, but don't be so shallow. I'm neither here nor there, I just like making fun of things and being a jerk. In this case I'm making fun of people that love certifications for the simple purpose of furthering their ability to say, "I have a PhD." This actually points to a lack of ability. Although some online universities are accredited and offer some worthy opportunities, they nonetheless lack a true academic atmosphere. Well, they don't have an atmosphere at all, which saves them money, but your dark, damp little apartment with the sweaters strewn about does lack academic atmosphere, and that's where most of your studies will be completed. A final word of caution before you get to partake in the fun part of this post: be careful of people who introduce or salute with "... PhD." If they need to mention it out of context, regardless of how they got it, they did it for the wrong reason. Anyway, here'e the fun part; the research I did. Here's a couple of "degree mills" where you simply pay for a degree based on "work experience" and they send you all sorts of shit (including a transcript with grades you would have received. This is followed by poor souls who brag about these same degrees.

Rochville University

Poor Sucker #1

#2
(search for "Belford," it's another fake university)

Dr. Feelgood

Defense Worker, oh great
(I've heard that some hundreds of defense employees held fake degrees)

The Fruition of G.B.'s Lament (as promised)

Before I begin to go on and on about nothing:


My denim jacket is rotting in hell
I also fell in the wishing well

(Bass: De Do Do Do Du)

Get the bike out of the store
Johnny, I got no tiles for your floor

(Bass again)

Chorus:
Here I am, take my hand and sent it
My dad likes to work, please don't vent air (Fortification 1 2 3 4 5)

(Bass)

Trust in me on the bike
I have my hands on the bike

(Bass)

Pennies on the dollar, pennies on the dollar
We don't earn much just pennies on the dollar

Chorus


(This followed by the final verse which was given a couple of posts ago)


I can't translate or guarantee any of the notation given, but it's been copied as written in a fine red notebook. I did edit the spelling a bit though, as that was never the writer's strong point. He sure knew how to abuse high school English teachers though as the following page indicates with take on Romeo and Juliet:

Balthasar: Hey, they got a Whitesnake CD for $4.99 up there.
Benvolio: Nolan, whe thinks your worthless at this point anyway.
Juliet: He would probably have some sort of weird fluid coming out of his eye.
Romeo: I don't know, my dad used to live down in Wahpeton for awhile.
Mercutio: Hey, that's my fucking arm you're petting.

It's not a very smooth script, obviously a rough draft. If my memory serves me correctly the refinement of this project earned him high honors. There also appears to be a badly stained piece of loose notepad paper here that has some interesting notes, but the stain is a detriment to this interest. I will post more at the discretion of the templars.

Off the subject of red notebooks, the following information should be posted under a different title, but I have not the strength for that. And this information may twist your nipple a bit, depending the individual reader's relationship with the American Medical Association. Recently, due to the large amounts of mystery and intellectual interest surrounding spring break behavior, the AMA was forced to conduct a study of its own. What did they find? Specifically (and scientifically), spring break girls (gone wild) can expect "more sex, more drinking, and more sloppy and promiscuous behavior." Shit, really? It's about time I can rely on a real study to point out these important items rather than relying on Girls Gone Wild as my main source of information. And to think, I thought that was just a few bad apples engaging in lesbian action all to be viewed for the low, low price of $9.99. Not so my friends. As it turns out, if you just travel a bit during the month of March, you can view or even create, some debauchery of your own.

Similarily speaking of obvious news of bad apples, has anybody heard of that Duke Cunningham fella? He was the recent bad apple of the republican party. Admitting to corruption on a grand scale, he'll should now serve some prison time. He apparently received around 50 grand (from defense contractors) for every $1 million in defense contracts he secured. Pretty good business I say. He also sold kitty cats on the side to boost his personal image. Later he burned up 3 unsold kitties, which proved his satanic tendencies. As was mentioned, he was labeled a "bad apple" just like thousands before him. "We've got a corrupt government!" Let's all shout this now, just like hundreds of thousands, probably millions before us. Then let's take a time out to look at some history books. "We've always had a corrupt government!" Now let's chant this, and then let the inevitable feeling of hopelessness slowly set in. That's right it doesn't matter if this guy goes to prison, dies due to a catastrophic rock slide, or weasels his way out, the corruption will continue. Just as drug pushers' methods are ever-evolving, so are those of white collar criminals. The only difference is that more money is involved, and everyone pays the price for the latter group of scum, and nobody puts out propaganda to fight the "war on corruption." On the bright side, it's great political fodder if you're trying to get elected. And again, we refer to the past, and see that really that's the only thing it's good for, and that there's really little consequence. We'll see this theory in action when the Enron case drudges through the courts over the next 10 years. They were labeled bad apples too. We should return to organic farming i think, the strong pesticides are a cancer to us all.

Confronting your evil silhouette

Bombardment of my person: I can't help but become distracted by the slow and ugly destruction of my mind by this electronic box in my living area, always firing electrons "passively" towards the screen as if to say, "Oh, you don't have to watch me, no big deal. I have better shit to do anyway; other friends to take care of and things." Mocking contempt leads to guilt, and soon enough there I am, right in front of the fucker with my eyes glazing over. Lately I've been coming up with potential defenses and attitudes to bring into one of several TV courtrooms (different strategies for different judges). I can't help but imagine how they'd insult and belittle me. I am in constant and arresting fear of my dog biting children, car accidents, and lack of paperwork. Those judgemental bastards.

I also saw an apparently new show called "Confronting Evil" which features victims confronting offenders in an attempt to sew up old wounds and deal with nightsweats and the like. My favorite questions, "What was with the gun butts in my face and the punches?" and "Why did you have to shoot me?" The answers, "Well, I thought you might pull the alarm or something, and also we wanted the money." The expected answer (to close the wounds), "Well, I was, at the time, suffering from serious instablility issues with my family, thus leading me to feel emotionally unstable. I receieved a gun from my brother who had a rummage sale, and the bullets in it represented the deteriorating connection that existed with my brother's children whom had recently been molested. By firing them, I felt as though I was severing the ties that had for so long tortured me. Obviously, I held no contempt for you when I shot your rib cage apart." The real answer, "It's pretty fun to shoot people in the stomach, like you're in an old west movie or gangster movie. I played Grand Theft Auto quite a bit and the lifestyle was enticing. Sorry?"

How pathetic that my will is too weak to filter things like this out while passively using the TV as background noise as I watch DVDs on my computer.

Well, here's the quote you asked for:

"A man is only truly rich when his fortune is no longer someone else's debt."
--Fiestawizard, quoted just now