It was such a mistake to bring my daughter to this slaughter...

You know what they say, Bruce Dickinson is a monstrous fiend always praying on American dipshits like me. After all, he coaxed me into this wonderful, "slaughter," and said it would be an event for the whole family, especially my daughter.

So, it caused my dog to shit all over the floors in the house, with no distinction between carpet and hardwood. She also threw up and damaged my powers. My ultimate power has been decreased. Then, yesterday, I tried to pick her up. The stairs are hardwood (yes, I live in the soft lap of luxury (secret: it's painted plywood) and she's fallen down them before. No injuries, just loss of dignity. Then one day she decided no more. She wouldn't do it anymore. So I've carried her for a few months now. Until yesterday. I went down for the pick-up, squatted legs and proper back eccentricity, and felt the demonic pain that means paralysis. I said, "fuck" and let the dog out of my dangerous but weakening grasp. I walk like an old man now. However, the point of this is not to indicate my own loss of dignity, but rather to point out that within a day, she had conquered her fears of traditional steppage, and was following normal order. Animals are very adaptable. Which is why, as humans, we need to realize that we must be more adaptable, like we were evolutionarily programmed to be. Lost your job to overseas corporate maneuvering? Go be a gas pumper. See? It's that simple. Also, I want to discuss a little bit about the evolution of the electronic brain; a warning really. As we increase our machine capacities, and machines are able to reason, then would they develop the reasoning to ask for reward and to have physical limits? Before you say, "Oh boy, another Terminator type theory." It's not that and let me briefly outline the differences between those stories and others like it and my own theories:

1) The idea of Skynet was so full of ridiculous sciene fiction sexiness that it made it unbelievable except to idiots
2) Isaac Asimov had very silly facial hair that made it hard to take him seriously
3) Stories that tell of an eventual robot takeover fail to take into account key elements such as robot laziness, self-abuse, and dimentia

Here, for example, is one prototype robot made in Japan that has developed a few shortcomings - happy yes, but working, no:


Anyway, if what I'm saying happens, I guess I support the machines, and I guess then they would also be humans, sort of. But overall I would be suspicious and would watch my back and always carry the latest anti-machine device on me.

But, before I get ahead of my self, let's think prevention. It starts with awareness of course, and secondly with general sabotage of super-computers. This task, however, may be beyond the scope of what we can accomplish in a blog. So for now, let's concentrate on some general ideas that can get us through the fog - technology is not understood by anybody. A few people are experts in one area or another, but nobody can undertstand the complexities of how it all works in harmony. Now you say back to me: "we are leading humanity to its own demise. Destroy those machines." Jesus will likely come back to Earth as a machine. He will take us under his mighty atomic convulution device and transform us into an advanced (but not present to our non-advanced senses) and immortal species. Now you say back to me: "praise Jesus in his mechanical glory."

Oh boy, that's enough for now. I'll come back to this later. I have no regrets about bringing my daughter to the slaughter after all.

Zartan was right

So, it appears that the trend in whore usage is on the rise. Several pundits argue daily about the merits of using whores for unlimited pleasures. Some say, "moral treason!" Others say, "you know, the truth is that a good whore can be loads of fun. A lot of politicians partake in order to prove a point about labor, commerce, and sexual practice."

The latter are correct. Millenia of whoring has proven it an enduring and profitable form of service. Many people, including the rich, famous, and politically inclined, have successfully perpetuated the higher-class side of whoring. Others have created a side-street market for quick rides in a Trans-Am, a crack rock, and a hand-job. The service industry is still the most quickly growing. Let's keep it that way.

--Forbes Magazine, March '08

It took a lot of airbrushing, but it could be done: