I got the ability, to make you win!

Feel the power motherfuckers... I have the power, the power of the opening theme. I will post it soon. You know what I'm referring to.

Look in, to the eye of the storm/ Look out, for the force without form.

Minute-to-minute updates on quantities of raw sewage, snakes in the water, FEMA, and martial law! WalMart is helping out the citizenry, make note.


Yeah, I had a conversation with my TV about this New Orleans Hurricane Katrina situation last night, so between you, me, and Travis Bickle, here's what we were thinking:

"I think someone should just take this city and just... just flush it down the fuckin' toilet."

... well, be careful what ya wish for, Travis. Sometimes the toilet ends up getting flushed all over the city, instead.

"Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk. "

... true, Travis, true. The city in question is a real stinkhole/sinkhole. I traveled there myself once, over Halloween no less. Let me tell you, walking down Bourbon Street on a humid day (i.e., every fucking day) is like undergoing a treatment at an extravagent spa for the wealthy elite, where you are misted with a fine spray of concentrated frat boy (& homeless gypsy) urine. Yes Travis, you do thank God when it rains down there, because it makes the odor go away for like 2 hours. Just enough time to duck into one of the 23,000 bars and get fucking ripped.
But that city, built out there on that mudslide... Did they really think they could ignore the realities of nature forever? Maybe their ultra-corrupt politicians and church leaders simply convinced them of such. The poverty down there is breath-taking, by the way. As are the gruesome murders! I do recommend visiting the place. Just not for awhile. Wait for the long-dead to be re-buried, at least.

"Shit... I'm waiting for the sun to shine."

... seriously Travis, I know, dude. Keep waiting.


**The views expressed herein are solely those of Mr. Bickle and are not necessarily those of CBS or its affilates.

Slow, deliberate destruction

I just saw on the CNN, as they call it around here, that some casino recently made an advertising deal with some lady that either volunteered or won a chance to do such. I don't know if you'd call it win as she agreed to tattoo the name of the casino on the back of her shaved head. Her prize: $18,000, for to go to college she says. I planned to specify the casino, but after a short internet research stint, it appears that this new method of advertising is not all uncommon. For example, check out this CBS article. I don't think I'm the only one who finds this disturbing. I guess for those of you who have already taken part in this, you're probably laughing at me with several thousands of dollars in hand... with a sign on your forehead. Did somebody just whisper, "...souls for sale." Talk about the end-times. Shit. Secondly, what does it mean to have all the consumers of products supported by the products parent corporation? Each and every one of us can finally be responsible for our favorite corporations rise to the top! This blog is becoming more and more of a Marxist ant-corporate platform that anything else, but I've recently viewed "The Corporation" and "Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room." Both of which give us a real lesson in terrorism. I could go on, but you can watch for yourself.

So, in reference to the lady with the casino tattoo that produced the capital to go to school, we have to ask: is this the new way of getting an education, to replace the armed forces? The armed forces by the way, although using at times questionable techniques, is far more honorable in most ways. In any case, to show you that I'm not just another rambling whiner, here's the newest piece of activism I hope to get more involved in, it's called the Democratizing Education Network. This is the description written up by yours truly for mass email. We have a big conference here in Madison in October and many schools and organizations are already on board. Show some support if you have the guts suckers.

DEN Background
Both state and federal governments have made it clear in recent years that goal of higher education is no longer to provide an affordable means for the public to pursue their academic interests and further their growth as human beings and citizens. Rather, they are adopting a market-driven business model that is making the education system increasingly more difficult for the ever-growing lower classes to access and is forcing its supporting employees onto the streets or to accept less in terms of wages and benefits.

The implications are far-reaching and ultimately destructive to our society as a whole. No longer will the “pursuit of truth” be the motto of public education, instead it will become the motto of corporate America: to increase its potential as a profitable entity at all costs. This trend is already noticeably evident as universities nationwide contract work out to private entities, push more of the economic burden onto students, and receive the majority of grants and research dollars only for those pursuits that promise an economic return.

Education, being one of the core elements of a free democratic society, will soon cease to exist as we have known it. In turn, our society and culture will be permanently and negatively altered. A largely uneducated poverty-level class will provide little more than service to the upper echelons of society, and by manipulation, restricted greatly as to how much power they hold to force change. For these reasons, undergraduate students, graduate students, academic staff, faculty, and community members at two dozen campuses have formed the Democratizing Education Network. The central purpose of this network is to promote the practice of higher education unionism - organizing each campus wall-to-wall, and uniting diverse constituencies in a common campaign to democratize higher education. These tasks are both monumental and challenging, but they can be accomplished with the courage, persistence and solidarity of the people.

Running with the devil

Also car thefts are down 2.6% nationally. Just a little information I thought everyone could use. Reading my post of yester-year, or there abouts, I see many grammatical errors. Those errors will remain, as a reminder of my state of mind.

In the headlines today, I now all but have a job. It's been nice sitting around on my ass contemplating things, but it now appears that the system has called me back to do my part for society. Actually, in a less romantic interpretation, I landed a job as a math TA and am pretty fucking lucky to be able to continue my education. Without this development, it is likely that I would have convinced myself that sitting on my ass is actually a legitimate occupation minus the income. And if I could support myself doing such, I actually think that this is true. How did you get where you are? Pat Robertson prayed to Jesus to get where he's at and now he's calling for "dictator" death. He made the mistake of not specifying the pronunciation, as he actually prayed to Jesus (Hay-sus). In related news, sort of, we will all remain slaves of a greater invisible power until further notice do to (today) high terror levels. I hate to say this again, as it seems to becoming clichè, but freedom is by no means free. For example, notice Wal-Mart's newest employee advertisement:

"Work for Wal-Mart, where we expand our wealth with the use of your back! Your healthy, strong, sexy back."

It's enticing and flattering. To think that my back is ever so sexy and that I can actually assist Wal-Mart in their continual enrichment. God bless Arkansas. See? Freedom isn't free, in fact, it actually costs you now to be a slave.

Now I have a story for my loyal readers that will send their neck ties into knots, allow their dogs to do backflips, and force their dads to flunk last year's math. As I drove back from northern Minnesota, formerly the Great White North, I was confronted with a lone piece of graffiti painted on an interstate bridge. Mind you, I've rarely, if ever have seen bridge graffiti within a three or four state region around these parts. It wasn't painted well, or even largely noticeable. However, it was its singularity that made it shine. It said only "godproven.com." I actually saw it a couple of months ago and only had the fleeting thought that I should take a picture and add it to the religious exposè series. But that was a while back, so I figured it wasn't worth my time, probably just another run-of-the-mill anti-abortion site. Amazing yes, that the northern anti-abortion crowd had begun net use to push their agenda, but interesting no. This time around, I decided to take a mental note that would remind me to actually check it out. I did just that yesterday. A basic plain text page with some use of totally incorrect science to prove that god exists. Nothing really new here. But... and that's a loud 'but,' there just happens to be slightly over 100 pages of information here. With the first few pages you're led to believe that it's going to be a lot of uneccesary bible quoting and rambling, which isn't at all incorrect, but I have to admit that the rambling at least provides a little fun. I scanned nearly every page, and the contradictions are ridiculously numerous. For example, first this prophetic wizard attempts to prove god by way of chemistry, then denounces such science as completely false; conservative don't have a voice, but minimum wage is way to low and health care should be free; people are forced to go into needless wars, but non-christians should pay the price. He does the same with mathematics, then produces about 40 or so illustrations of inventions ranging from the "pinwheel generator" (which has been around for a long time by the way, and is in fact a perpetual motion device) to earthquake-proof structures to water pressure reducing dykes. Now, not to pretend that I know everything about anything, but of course, one can clearly see that these things hold no real credibility for a million reasons. Ummm, anyway, I guess more than anything the point is not vindicate oneself by disproving a bunch of shit, but rather seeing that this person is quite possibly just a twelve year old kid making neat inventive drawings of forts and things... clearly proving that there is a god... I guess. Everything is discussed, so I suggest checking it out, at least the inventions. The pinwheel generator is on page 40 or so. It's just too bad our capitalistic government is hiding this from us. What's new?

Follow-up stories

I have several interesting news pieces as well as some other information regarding Ozzfest '05. I sure everyone will agree. Some of this news is quite disturbing and upsetting, while other snippets will just be funny... and then piss you off. Anyway:

On Iron Maiden's last show of the tour, various shit went down. Several people were apparently planted in the front rows with dozens of eggs used to throw at Maiden. During The Trooper somebody ran out on stage with a big American flag, clearly in an attempt of opposition to the British one Bruce Dickinson was holding. The sound was cut several times. Sharon Osbourne came on stage after the Iron Maiden left and said that Iron Maiden is really cool but Bruce Dickinson is a prick.

Rumors abound, the situation seems pretty clear. Read all of the accounts of the incident here. Apparently Bruce was heavily criticizing the whole Sharon Osbourne empire. You know, like the show on MTV, and her running of Ozzy's poor burned out ass, and the way Ozzfest has sucked terribly in past years. He also may have criticized the US of A, motherfucker. Freedom isn't free. One of the accounts, as you may read, said that Kelly Osbourne was actually one of the egg throwers. The show was in southern California, so this is possible. I guess that loser "Big Dave" was also behind the various shenanigans. Mainly it sounds like people didn't go for this, as a large majority of the crowd was there soley to see Maiden. Mrs. O was shut down by the crowd. This is just more evidence that indicates where the metal scene has gone. Bruce Dickinson was correct in all of his criticisms. Sharon Osbourne has become a war pig of sorts, in a strange twist of fate. Apparently no uprisings will be allowed. She's exploited everything she possibly could thus far, including her pseudo power. The theorem proposed over the centuries has once again been proven - those with status/power will do all they can to remain in that position. The question is, did Bruce have to be so outspoken? Probably not, but then again not enough people are. Never again will I attend Ozzfest for these reasons. Actually it's mainly because Maiden won't be there again...

The other news: the band "Wicked Wisdom" which I spoke of in the review, is actually headed by Will Smith's wife. Here's a little more info., that makes this band suck even more than I thought they did:

Wicked Wisdom is an Evanescense-esque act that Pinkett Smith, the band's frontperson and the wife of actor/rapper Will Smith, has said is influenced by Ani DiFranco, Prince, Tori Amos and Sevendust. The group also includes a guy named Pocket on guitar, another fellow named Rio on bass, keyboardist Cameron Graves and drummer Satnam Ramgotra. This summer's Ozzfest stint will mark Wicked Wisdom's first North American tour: The group primarily performs club gigs in and around Los Angeles, although it has opened for Papa Roach and was the support act for Britney Spears' 2004 European tour.

Wow, enough said. Might as well bring back "Crazy Town" to the tour.

My last comment will urge boycott. NW mechanics are looking at a 25% pay cut. Support them by picketing, writing letters, etc., or your wage will be next. Precedents like this (that make it okay to take back) are set daily.

Who needs a funny page?

Sometimes I decide to read the personals in the local independent newspaper. I look at them all, in order to identify the best ones. Here are a few from this week's edition that I enjoyed:

47 year old disabled man seeks disabled woman paralyzed from the waist down. I love hairy legs, old movies, old country music, bowling, and snuggling. Would prefer missing a leg or breast.

This guy is asking way too much. It's difficult enough to pass the requirement of being paralyzed, but then also to have a leg or breast missing? Shit.


Female wench wanted to shiver me timber, no hand or leg a plus, patch optional, you bring rum, I'll bring a parrot, I'll walk all over ye plank, Arrrrgh!

Who has a pirate fetish? Me, Me!! Nothing I like better than a good eyepatch slung lazily across the left eye.


50-year-old man interested in wrestling, football and baseball, seeking male 21-55, kind and gentle for a relationship. Looks unimportant. I'm in a wheelchair.

Way to lead gay guys right into the, "oh, by the way, I'm in a wheelchair," trap. I love physical activity, but you'll be responsible for pushing me around for my own personal prison hell ride.

It turns out the trend this week is physical disabilities. I say it's about time that people start admitting that they're into this. And yes, pirates fall into that category and can hold their own when it comes to looking good.

Festival review now available!

Here it is, the Ozzfest '05 review, including special inside the concert details!

Lawful possession of illegitimate friends

Yes, yes, I have nothing to say today. Why? Why not. I got these tickets to the Iron Maiden show. Fuck yeah. I also have nobody to go with. Fuck yeah. I prefer to go alone anyway, but in this case I was overly zealous about friendships so I bought two tickets. "Great," I thought, "we are good friends afterall." This I thought, as I made sure to invite only someone who I thought had what it takes to follow through. I think you see where this is going. The concert is tomorrow, the call came this morning. Actually I made the call. "Can't go because I put a down payment on a $39,000 dollar house in Jamestown, ND 58401. My future wife, I thought she was going to pitch in, but I was wrong. Hence, our life begins. I only have $20. But really, what did I expect, she lived with me free of charge for a year." I have to say, I had given the boy too much credit all along. Two things to take from this: 1) call someone at least before they buy the fucking tickets (2 weeks ago) if you're going to jump ship, and 2) never trust the needle (it lies) (always a good tip), 3) tell me the truth about why you don't want to go, not some lame excuse about how you can't go. Oh, and also 4) try not to be so transparent about your boring excuses. Be a convincing flake if you're going to be one. Anyway, I have an extra ticket, paid for by said friend. Anyone who wants to go can show up at my door at 7:00 am tomorrow, no questions asked. Don't bother promising to come beforehand, as that's simply a waste of our time.

A Glance at Government Spending

Government spending is not all that you may think it is. You probably think that it's all about blowing cash wads on pot for people with "medical needs" and buying the local homeless new pants. Not so my friends, not so. In fact, that's an old communist idea, those no good red suckers. Redistributing the wealth and other things. In actuality, the policy is to distribute the wealth to the top of the pyramid, where it can smell the fresh air, and occasionally slide down the side. Or, it just may blow away in the wind. In either case, you should take your chance and reach for some of that cash, if only a futile attempt to look like you're trying. Because, as it turns out, many billions of dollars are currently being spent on oil ventures. You know, helping them out to develop better personal lubricants and things. Also, some of the money will be used to further strengthen the oil temple, where all of the oily leaders squirm anxiously and laugh maniacally at there trickery. Illumninati anyone? Yes please. Republicans: Socialism costs society so much that we will all die from famine and lack of hope. Republicans: Socialism within the context of capitalism will help us grow out of control like the tumor on the young boy's neck. He grabs it for a consistency check, and squeezes the tight purple skin. I actually witnessed this scenario today. Just as the boy's neck tumor will probably kill him (so he proceeds to eat a giant plate of fries - hey, who the fuck cares?), the government will kill us by making us slaves, as if we weren't already. The solution, says me: quit. Everyone should quit for some time, whatever it is they're doing to "serve" society. Doctors: remain at work, but don't play the drug company's and insurance company's games. Don't loot assholes. Quitting, eating fries by the pound... either way we might as well increase the pace of our slow march to the grave. Republicans: Fries sold by McDonald's are delicious, tumors are also delicious, and should be seen as a delicacy. Republicans: Wage increases and socialized medicine will run the bank dry (and other things), but giving $2.5 billion dollars away to tycoons will certainly help us all. Welfare recipients are cheaters, drilling 200 miles under the ocean will certainly benefit the human condition. Nobody cares? Some say we're not slaves, but they also say that there isn't much they can do about the things they so loathe. They can't, but maybe we can, or they (they?) can. Too clichè for you? Too over-romanticized? I would maybe think the same, but I also think that we've been conditioned to think that. Be reasonable. Be passive. Be discouraged. Trim your mustache (if applicable). Freedom isn't free motherfucker, in fact, we learn more of this every day. Many of have been diverted into thinking that this has something to do with fighting wars on foreign soil. Oh, but on the contrary, it has to do with fighting wars here. Everyone in this war is forgiven for not joining the fight (too busy, socially unacceptable, bad stomach ache, monopoly tourney) but remember, without turbulence, the oxygen slowly dissipates... and again we're left incapacitated - the powers that be are just good enough at this now that we only suffer brain damage to the degree that we are unable to recognize the situation. At least we can still enjoy the suburbs (opinions all decided, conform or be cast out).