The Kid was curious... the Kid heard it all before

"Walkin' from the city, lookin' oh so pretty. I've just gotta find my way." Ultimately, confusion led me down the path of the unrighteous. Although it wasn't me that did the duty, I still feel that I am responsible. "For what?" you ask. For crapping in the laundry room floor drain, that's what. Are you glad you asked now? I didn't think so. Next time think twice. We all have an innate fear deep down inside of stumbling unexpectedly upon excrement of any type. The point of the story is that something may be living in the wall- don't worry, the landlord said he'll be gone for a couple of weeks.

In other news, other things happened, but I feel no need to go into detail since once again, writing on this site is at an all-time low. Insults thwarted towards the people who I thought would write produced no effect other than to show me that they are unable to solve simple problems or read and absorb information. This isn't even an insult anymore, it's the tear-jerkingly sad truth; enough said.

Close the Border!

The sole reason why the borders must be heavily guarded, or blocked with a giant wall of white bread:


Man apprehended for bologna smuggling
Las Cruces, N.M.

A Mexican man was apprehended for smuggling 845 pounds of bologna and 100 pounds of cheese over the Mexican-American border, the Department of Homeland Security reported Monday. The bologna, divided into 80 large rolls and contained in 14 suitcases, was discovered during a routine baggage inspection at a checkpoint north of Las Cruces, N.M.

The man allegedly wanted to sell the bologna at a swap meet, as prices for bologna in the United States can be three to four times those in Mexico. A U.S. Customs and Border Patrol spokesperson said the discovery of the bologna could prevent various medical problems, as most Mexican bologna is not eligible for sale in the United States and could pose the risk of classical swine fever.

After he was stopped, the man voluntarily surrendered the fixings and continued on his way.

-CNN.com contributed to this report.


To think... we could have all been afflicted with the classical swine fever. Thank the gods for our clean Oscar Meyer bologna. Until now I was always under the impression that all bolagna was unclean...

Just killing time.... YOUR TIME!

"This time, it's your time!" That's my new quote. Use it at your discretion. Updates have been made to the COM page. That message is for the one other patron of this site: Johnny Riphorn. Read it and weep...

List #1
Bacon crisper
flakes, cocunut/corn
birdseed
Christian Books

You, too, can be mercilessly slaughtered!

Hi, friends. I'm here to tell you, it would be awesome if you'd join up with me and my buds out here in Eee-rack! It's fucking awesome and shit! I always liked G.I. Joe when I was a lad, and now, my lads, here's your chance to become "Snake Eyes," "Chuckles," or, even, if your ass ain't grass, "Roadblock." Also, "Bazooka." Also, "Shanker."

And, anyway, another one bites the dust.
(play that backwards)

Pace soon to be picked up...

Contrary to rumor, the postings here will increase by two or so... soon. Also, the online presentation will be given on May 4th.

West Virginia, West Virginia always up to no good

Once again, West Virginia has done what every other state only wishes they could accomplish- destroy, alienate, and belittle other people and their cultures. Remember earlier when they tried to get rid of "lower style" pants, mustaches, and shredded wheat (all very bad things by the way)? I don't want to let the cat out of the bag here, so you can see for yourself what I speak of. Speaking of cats, in Wisconsin a bill has been written that would legalize the hunting of farrel cats, that is, cats without collars. This, my friends, is great news as we've all been stalked, attacked, or had our cars stolen by a meth crazed feline frenzy team. Have fun!

West Virginia win!

No shortcuts will be allowed

I will be attending the show in Milwaukee tonight. Which one you ask? Go here if you wish. I will be there by myself. Thank you.

Ufoid Destroys Hands in Accident, Says His Nubs Will Never Grace the Polymer Sweetness of the Keyboard Again

That's right kids, he's a goner, or at least his hands are. At this time, we're not sure what happened, whether it was the acid again, or the angry neighbor with the pneumatic can crusher. Well, poor Ufoid always stood his ground; always taking the hand destruction instead of having his teeth put against the cold hard concrete curb whilst being stomped upon the nape. Please, give him a call to harass him lightly or send him a card. 701-320-2619

Long-haired freaky people need NOT apply, really.

I just wrote a VERY long post about the Pope; a fictionalized account of his death involving Charles Manson, Jefferson Starship, Christopher Reeve as Superman, the 7 Dark Agents and the 7 Light Agents, Frank Sinatra, and pederasty (of course). I lost it ALL because I visited a site called hippy.com ("Hippieland") as I was researching links for the post; this site somehow brought my browser DOWN. No site has yet done that. It also somehow hogged up 100mb of RAM. Amazing. Fucking hippies! Mike Lucht was right!!!

Maybe losing the post was God's way of telling us to not write anything about the Holy See.

Well, if anyone wants to pick up the mantle -- tempting fate, perhaps -- and write a Pope story, well, be my fucking guest. I need to go pee now.