Thursday, February 02, 2012

Looping Toronto Scenes



"What enters Toronto alters Toronto." That's the moniker of Ontario's capital, much different than "what happens in (city), stays in (city)." Or, "(city), at least we're not Detroit," or, used frequently in rust belt cities "fuck with (city), receive an undignified burial in (city)." In a much different way Toronto's moniker is also what differentiates the city from Detroit, Erie (PA), Toledo, Gary, Buffalo, Milwaukee, and even Chicago. I need say no more about that. Just drive through the cities and find out for yourself. Develop your own theory, it will feel good.

Surprisingly to me, Ontario (and I assume the rest of Canada) is able to maintain its own unique identity even while lying in the dark shadow of the US. Of course they depend greatly on the US, but they seem to have done well in maintaining their commercial and cultural dignity despite the majority of its people living within firing distance of United States. This position would (and often does) cause a very rational fear in other less proud citizens of a country (Ann Coulter's tried unsuccessfully to perpetuate this fear in her speech, "let's destroy Canada"). Instead, the citizens of Canada spit on Dunkin' Donuts in favor of Tim Horton's, turn up April Wine, and position their fists in the event that Ann Coulter does attack (fists being the accepted method of national defense).

A tour of Canada came at a good time for me. I'm transitioning in life in many ways both physically and mentally - settling into the American lifestyle with great reluctance. This causes me to question it and respond to it constantly, always putting my fists up to it (Canadian style) and trying to make it into something that's livable by my own standards. I choose to do this, I guess, rather than to slip into the abyss of Americanism as a natural progression to life, which I don't believe it is. So on with entering Ontario which means an immediate and welcome radio broadcast transition to any number of Rush songs, but usually Spirit of the Radio or Limelight, also American radio classics, but played not nearly as much as they are in Canada. This is Canada's musical welcome, and it is much welcomed by me. Not coincidentally, Rush has also served Ontario's tourism industry well with songs like YYZ and Lakeside Park. Once in the realm of Rush, I found myself going to a hockey game, looking like a Canadian, and thinking what a great idea it is to have a maple leaf for a national emblem.

Hockey. Rush. Universal healthcare... okay, so I know I only feel like Canada is utopia based on some very simple criteria. But, I ask you, what is it that makes a place ideal? If you're thinking about Ann Coulter's hot body rubbing up against yours while you drive your Cadillac Escalade in laps around your suburban circle while eating McDonald's while NOT being able to smoke even a small amount of pot, then I understand we're on different pages... although you could do almost all of those things in Canada. Anyway, here's some pictures to leave you with. Please feel free to assign each picture to a location.